Jacky leggs sucks
May 22, 2003

RANT #188: Arts & Entertainment
Druss01uk
 
Summary: Why does Kangaroo Jack suck crap through a eeny teeny straw? let me explain further!
 
Questionable Content This rant contains profanity or other offensive material.
 
Full Text:

 
AWW COME ON, KANGAROO JACK SOUNDS LIKE A PRETTY SUPERIOR MOVIE, MOVIE, MOVIE...

This is precisely what my brother declared dancing around the room like a headless koala about to be blasted by an AK47 and MIG Rocket launchers. But that is not what I am concerned about, nor the tacky accents that you unintelligent, dim-witted, wretched yanks put in those shit films. I like that. WHAT I AM WORRIED ABOUT IS THE CHEESINESS OF THE CHARACTER STUCTURE THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE FILM!

First, open a new window and paste this into your address bar. Go on, you have nothing better to do... OPEN THE DAMN LINK!

http://www.crankycritic.com/archive03/posters/kangaroojack.jpg

Take a look at this image, high-quality isn't it? It is a dearly loved, enhanced image of your clever marsupial, isn't it? That is the main character! Not some cheesy friends, one as scrawny as a rake and eventually identifies himself under the name of "bola man", and the other hoping to become a Mr. Blobby wannabe.

Do you see those guys in the poster? No! Why? Because they are not the main characters. And quite frankly, I don't give a shit about them. What I am interested in is that fucking kangaroo. And if it was highly intelligent, shouldnt have it developed a language of its own? and most of the time, HE HOPS, and does nothing else. BOR-RING.

On average, the main character talks throughout the entire movie for 45% And look how many times that clever, majestic roo speaks! Those geeks talk more than anyone else in the entire films! Go on; waste an equivalent of 7 pounds wasting 89 minutes of your life watching the best S-classed movie crap in the history of American comedy.

Go on! Thats all blokes!
 


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