Judo Kicks AND the Kitchen Sink...
December 4, 2002

RANT #156: Misc.
Jimmy, The First Chimp in Space
Summary: Why the two should NEVER be combined
Full Text:

One day I was on this site... going about my buisness... looking for things to make fun of canadians about... then I saw "judo kicks AND the kitchen sink"... I spent awhile pondering, pondering more... then i pondered some more... then i pondered more so i could add another set of 3 dots to this 'chere rant... then, just when i had thought about making up my mind... i pondered some more.  I decided it might be fun to try this out on MY kitchen sink.  The kitchen sink downstairs has plauged my since the day i was born.  I was bathed in it, it sprayed me and made me look like i had bladder control problems, when i drank out of it once i threw up, and my sister broke a tooth on it a few years ago.  I had had it up to my lower eyelid with that thing.  It was time for some tough love.  I stealthily slinked downstairs stealth-ninja-metal-gear-solid style, then took a peek around the stairs at my prey... It looked to be preoccupied with my mom, who was washing dishes.  I mustered up all the courage i had, and dove at that hell-device, dove with all the strength in my bones.  While diving i shoved my mom out of the way in an indescribable manner.  Then I judo-kicked it with all the power of a ninja.  The top flew off, and i knew the battle was mine.  Oh, it struggled, but it was no match for moi.  I stood there with my leg over my quarry, and laughed a harsh, unforgiving ninja laugh.  Then my mom stood up and looked at me in a way i had never seen before.  Now i'm grounded for two months and have to pay for the sink.   I will never listen to you tangmonkey type folk again.

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