Girls have cooties
November 19, 2002

RANT #150: Misc.
Jimmy, The First Chimp in Space
Summary: feel sorry for me...
Full Text:

i thought this girl and i had something...
she said that i'm just a "super-funny" good friend.
So now i think girls have cooties.  I asked my doctor about a cootie shot and he laughed at me and said "Circle circle dot dot now you've got your cootie shot".  He'll have his when the cooties invade.  I told my friend about it and he said, "Just because you got turned down doesn't mean all girls are disgusting" and he's right, it's just the majority of them that have cooties who are disgusting.  I asked my mom about the miracle of cooties and she said something i didn't really listen to (that usually happens when mom is talking) about how cooties where something that didn't exist.  Now i know my mother cannot be trusted in this jihad i have decided to wage on cooties.  She'll just cover for her secret elite bolshevik hierarchy of women with cooties.  I don't think there is a cure for cooties, so it is one pubescent boy against an entire army of the buggers.  i've drawn a composite sketch of the cooties and it looks something like this: (,,,'). its amazing all the things you can do with technology these days.
So in conclusion, i appeal to you, the tangmonkey public to help me in my holy war on the occursed cooties.  This is a war of attrition my friends and i will not stop until something big happens.  i'm not really sure what it is, but something will happen, and it will be big.  mark my words.

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