My complaint about Tangmonkey.com
September 26, 2002

RANT #132: Tangmonkey Sucks
gonzo
 
Summary: Why tangmonkey sucks.
 
Full Text:

 
Let's talk again about an all-too-familiar subject: Tangmonkey.com and its mephitic insults. There are a number of reasons Tangmonkey.com isn't telling us as to why it wants to distort and trivialize the debate surrounding Stalinism. In this letter, I will expose those reasons one-by-one, on the principle that I want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to enlighten the mind of Man and improve him as a rational, moral, and social being. Tangmonkey.com argues that I am prudish for wanting to drive off and disperse the useless, ultra-disreputable scatterbrains who evade responsibility. I should point out that this is almost the same argument that was made against Copernicus and Galileo almost half a millennium ago.

As reluctant as I am to admit it, Tangmonkey.com's zingers are not pedantic treatises expressing theories or extravaganzas dealing in fables or fancies. They are substantial, sober outpourings from the very soul of solipsism. The gloss that Tangmonkey.com's hired goons put on Tangmonkey.com's fibs unfortunately does little to provide you with vital information which it has gone to great lengths to prevent you from discovering. Although chimpanzees can be convinced to wear clothing, understand commands, and even ride bicycles (if well paid for their services in bananas), it would be virtually impossible to convince Tangmonkey.com that the clericalism "debate" is not a debate. It is a harangue, a politically motivated, brilliantly publicized, eccentric attack on progressive ideas. The vast majority of people would probably be willing to help me reveal some shocking facts about Tangmonkey.com's manuscripts. These people simply need information, encouragement, direction, and leadership.

I was thinking about how there are a series of options I could pursue, if necessary. And then it hit me. On a completely different tack, it has been brought to my attention that Tangmonkey.com profits from human suffering. While this is true, Tangmonkey.com should be forced to wear a scarlet "W" for "Wants to develop a Pavlovian reflex in us, to make us afraid to investigate the development of vandalism as a concept". Now, I could go off on that point alone, but I should note that it would not hesitate to practice human sacrifice on a grand scale in some sort of quasi-unregenerate death cult if it felt it could benefit from doing so. I used to think that pushy half-wits were the most unstable people on the planet, but now I know that someone has to be willing to improve the physical and spiritual quality of life for the population at present and for those yet to come. Even if it's not polite to do so. Even if it hurts a lot of people's feelings. Even if everyone else is pretending that Tangmonkey.com has its moral compass in tact. Behind Tangmonkey.com's mask of benevolence stands a complete plan for world government, world power, world conquest, and the promotion of viperine priggism. Likewise, Tangmonkey.com has been trying for some time to convince people that genocide, slavery, racism, and the systematic oppression, degradation, and exploitation of most of the world's people are all completely justified. Don't believe its hype! Tangmonkey.com has just been offering that line as a means to deliver an additional blow to dignity and self-worth. Okay, I've written enough for one letter, so let me just finish by saying that a number of serious questions need to be asked -- and answered -- before we give Tangmonkey.com carte blanche to make my blood curdle.
 


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