Carnosaur - Worst Movie of All Time
November 27, 2000

RANT #11: Arts & Entertainment
Summary: I've seen some bad movies in my lifetime but this one has got to be the worst one yet, Here's what I think of Carnosaur.
Full Text:

The first time I ever saw CARNOSAUR I was about twelve or thirteen years old and was with a bunch of other people, some of which were two or three years younger than me. None of us could keep from laughing at how bad the movie was and how terribly obvious the special effects were. You know your movie is bad when you can't even fool a ten-year-old into thinking that your special effects are real.
Chosen by Roger Ebert as one of the worst films of 1993, CARNOSAUR is about a genetic scientist who has decided that she should give the earth back to the dinosaurs because it was made for them, not humans. So she finds some way of crossing the genes of a chicken with those of a dinosaur (a la JURASSIC PARC which coincidentally came out about a year before CARNOSAUR.)

She creates her Carnosaur and it is soon running rampant around the city eating people. Meanwhile, a night-time security/maintenance guy (who lives in a trailer in the middle of the quarry he is protecting which keeps being attacked by environmentalists) just happens to find every single one of the bodies that the Carnosaur leaves behind. The security guy thinks up an ingenious plan to sneak into the mad scientist's lab, he holds her hostage for a while before she sicks her pet dinosaur on him and gives birth to another dinosaur. In the end the FBI goes around with guns and those radioactive suits like in ET and shoots all of the humans who were not killed by the dinosaur (don't ask why.)

Overall, the special effects were ridiculous, there is one scene where you can actually see an arm sticking out of the back of the neck of the Carnosaur. They also seem to have reverted back to the stop motion days of the '40's. The acting wasn't that bad, except for the smaller parts which were atrocious. The plot was disjointed and incomprehensible, as you can see when you read my description. Bar all that and it might have been an OK movie if they hadn't ended on a shot of an Alfred E. Newman "What me worry?" poster as it caught on fire.

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