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Destroy All Robots!
7.9.2001 by Professor Particle


Bill Joy is the CEO of Sun Microsystems. Ted Kaczynksi was the Unabomber. Despite their differences, there is one movement they can both get behind: Kill all robots before they can kill you! Now, I'm sure we are used to such dramatics from good ol' Teddy, but Billy has a bit more street cred outside of the Luddite community.

Robots and nano and genes, oh my! Robots and nano and genes, oh my!

Genetically modified earwax. Nanoaccordians. This is what's on the 6-o'clock news and in your sci-fi novel. But robots? That is SO last century. The only way that robots can get any press nowadays is under the banner of the 2 aforementioned bad-boys of science. Plain Robots are out. Cyborgs and nanobots are in. Regular robots just aren't interesting enough to be taken as a credible threat to humanity anymore outside of B-movies.

At least that's what I thought. Apparently, even friendly-looking robots are being designed as killers. Going further, some robots actually hate humans and are launching a misanthropic attack on humanity! "Hey, isn't that just a guy in a cardboard box?" No. No, It's not. Statements like that merely hasten the coming of the inevitable human-robot war.

Get out your pitchfork, torch, and arc-welder and round up your friends. Looks like some metal monsters needs them a dismantlin'!

Wait, wait, wait. Maybe I was a bit hasty in a call-to-arms. Surely there are happy, friendly robots that should be spared our wrath. Who could possibly want to harm R2-D2, Twiggy from Buck Rogers, K-9 from Doctor Who, or even Harrison Ford? (Okay, he's not a tradional robot, but genetically engineered... whatever) On the other hand, I'd love any excuse to put an axe through Haley Joel Osment. I feel so torn.

Although I don't think I've reached a conclusion about whether or not I want to destroy robotkind, I think I'm going to be a bit more cautious about them in the future... and also about any parcels I get from Bill Joy.




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