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Andy M.'s 2003 Book List
1.12.2004 by , every Tuesday.
Sorry, no stories this week, but soon you will be able to purchase a 100% quality book of stories brought to you in part by Kinko's. Stay tuned!
Last New Year's, a friend of mine resolved to read 52 books. She wound up reading 64. I liked her book list so much that I decided to post it. Here is talented freelancer Andrea M.'s rockin' 2003 literary journey (with comments!)
The reply form at the bottom of this page isn't working, so send comments here.
1. How To Be Good - Nick Hornby
Dear Nick: I think you're dreamy.
2. A Child's Book of True Crime - Chloe Hooper
Dear Chloe: Your mix of fiction of non-fiction (or seeming mix) was tittilating. Delightful!
3. The Autograph Man - Zadie Smith
Dear Miss Smith: What the fuck happened?
4. Mister Sandman - Barbara Goudy
Barbara: Essentially, you wrote a movie, in a book. Sort of disappointing.
5. Twenty-Six - Leo McKay Jr.
Dear Leo: Can I call Leo? I suppose I can, since we had coffee, and I interviewed you for a story. I thought you wrote an important book. Bravo.
6. First Fieldwork - Barbara Gallatin Anderson
Dear Barbara: I bought this book for 50 cents because the dedication said "To Andrea, the intrepid". It ended up being quite lovely. I probably would pay a whole dollar for it, in retrospect.
7. Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas - Hunter S. Thompson
Dear Mr. Thompson: Your head is messy. Are you happy now?
8. The Fifth Morningside Papers - ed. Peter Gzowski
Dear Peter: It's sad that you died. It's neat that they put out these books though. Canada is cool.
9. Grey - Judy MacDonald
Judy: Though overall I found your book a bit tiring, a couple of your stories were downright brilliant. And I liked the cover.
10. The Tesseract - Alex Garland
Dear Mr. Garland: See #3. I loved The Beach. What was this nonsense about?
11. The Rules of Attraction - Bret Easton Ellis
Dear Mr. Ellis: You are quite possibly mentally ill. But you take risks. I like that.
12. Anchoress - Esta Spalding
Dear Esta: Thank you for writing this book. It is amazing.
13. Losing It - Alan Cumyn
Dear Alan: I think we all could have lived without this book. It wasn’t bad, but, well, let’s be honest: it wasn’t good, either.
14. The Girl’s Guide To Hunting and Fishing - Melissa Banks
Dear Melissa: I like this book, but you already knew that. Why do you have to be such a one-hit wonder?
15. Shopaholic Ties The Knot - Sophie Kinsella
Dear Sophie: My roommate finds it stressful to read your books because she doesn’t understand how someone can let their finances get so out of control. I find it stressful to read them because all I can think is “Ooh! I need a new and very expensive scarf, too!”
16. Cat’s Crossing - Bill Cameron
Dear Bill: You picked my favourite subject–cats–and still mucked it up. Stick to journalism, whydontcha.
17. Speak The Truth, Laughing - Rose Zwi
Dear Rose: I think these stories are what one refers to as ‘compelling’. Good job.
18. The Crash of Hennington - Patrick Ness
Dear Patrick: I have a giant literary crush on you. Why don’t you bring your bad self on down to Nova Scotia?
19. Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
20. The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe - Douglas Adams
21. Life, The Universe, And Everything - Douglas Adams
22. So Long And Thanks For All The Fish - Douglas Adams
23. Mostly Harmless - Douglas Adams
Dear Mr. Adams: Surely, you have created modern classics. Surely, it’s not right for me to have such a crush on a robot.
24. White Noise - Don Delillo
Dear Don: Just as good the fourth time as the first. Why don’t I enjoy any of your other books?
25. The Neverending Story - Michael Ende
Dear Michael: I am mad at you. Your story did, in fact, end. That made me sad.
26. Concrete Forest - ed. Hal Niedzvieki
Dear Hal: I think you’re swell, don’t get me wrong. But Canadian Urban Fiction scares the bejesus out of me.
27. Slumber Party - Christopher Pike
28. Last Act - Christopher Pike
29. Master of Murder - Christopher Pike
30. Road To Nowhere - Christopher Pike
31. Monster - Christopher Pike
32. The Wicked Heart - Christopher Pike
33. The Immortal - Christopher Pike
34. Gimme A Kiss - Christopher Pike
Dear Christopher, or should I say, Kevin: Your books still rock my free world. Also: keep on rocking me, baby.
35. Sabbath’s Theatre - Phillip Roth
Dear Phillip: Never, when I’m reading, am I so sure I’m actually reading a thinly-veiled portrayal of the author. Is it true? Are you really such a schmuck?
36. Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix - JK Rowling
Dear Ms Rowling: This was not a 700 page book. Get an editor. Also, 45 bucks for a kids’ book?
37. Bluebeard’s Egg - Margaret Atwood
Margaret! How excited I was to find I enjoyed your short-stories. I always felt like a bad Canadian, not liking your novels. Please write more short stories.
38. The Virgin Suicides - Jeffrey Eugenides
Dear Jeff: You did something very interesting with this book, and still managed to tell a good story. Please tell your secret to McSweeneys.
39. A Readers’ Manifesto - BR Myers
Dear Mr. Myers: You are a bitter, bitter man. I agree with you in some areas, but mostly I find you a bitter, bitter man.
40. Angel - Marian Keyes
Marian: The usual. But that’s okay, because that’s what I come to you wanting. So, uh, good job.
41. The Man Who Loved Only Numbers - Paul Hoffman
Dear Paul: This biography was quite nice, though it convinced me that I was secretly a mathematical genius. Was that your intention?
42. Me Talk Pretty One Day - David Sedaris
David, meet Joey. He is a hundred times funnier than you. I don’t get your success. Oh well. Good for you, I guess.
43. American Gods - Neil Gaiman
Dear Neil: I don’t even like science-fiction. And yet – and yet.
44. Ramona And Her Father - Beverly Cleary
Dear Bev: Normally, I reread kids’ book and find them disappointing. Yours are even better than I remember. Hurray!
45. Ella Minnow Pea - Mark Dunn
Mark: If nothing else, I admire your patience. I have already passed your book along to someone who will appreciate it more than I did.
46. Less Than Zero - Bret Easton Ellis
Dear Mr Ellis: I am still just as convinced that you are mentally unstable. Oddly, I cannot remember a single detail about this book.
47. The Eyre Affair - Jasper Fforde
Dear Mr. Fforde: You were kind of a loser in school, weren’t you? I can tell.
48. The Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Dear Yann: I tried to convince my boss to fly my to Saskatoon so I could see you. Does that worry you? Your book was fantastic. I love books that can still surprise me.
49. The Black Book - Ian Rankin
Dear Ian: How many nights have I stayed up too late finishing one of your books? Too many. TOO MANY.
50. Them - Jon Ronson
Dear Jon: How do you live? Are you not just a bundle of nerves now? You know they’re going to get you. You know they know where you live.
51. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - Anita Loos
Dear Anita: Does it bother you that no one even knows your book exists? That Marilyn Monroe got famous and you didn’t? If it makes you feel any better, I tell everyone about it. I tell them how great it is.
52. Death By Television - Ian Johnston
Ian: Well, at least you tried. I mean, they can’t all be winners.
53. Bird By Bird - Anne Lamott
Dear Anne: You are possibly the cutest person ever. Your book is possibly the cutest book ever. That is all.
54. She’s Come Undone - Wally Lamb
Dear Wally: I used to love this book and now I have mixed feelings about it. What were you thinking when you wrote it? What do you really think about women?
55. The Art of the Playwright - Somebody Somebody
Dear Person: Um. Good job, I guess. Yes, much useful playwrighting stuff in here.
56. All Families Are Psychotic - Douglas Coupland
Dear Doug: You almost never disappoint me. Also, way to go with the pink spine. Very pretty.
57. Island: Shipwreck - Gordon Korman
58. Island: Survival - Gordon Korman
59. Island: Escape - Gordon Korman
Dear Gordon: Stick to comedy, k? Also, we have so been there done that with the whole island thing.
60. The World According To Garp - John Irving
Dear Mr. Irving: I really enjoyed our time together. I hope to see a lot more of you in 2004.
61. Of Cats And Kings - Claire De Vries
Dear Claire: You are my cat-loving, trip-making, book-writing hero. If I didn’t love you so much, I would hate you. Call me!
62. Bag of Bones - Stephen King
Dear Steve: Your books make the best paperbacks. Also, the best blunt instruments. Yes.
63. Bridges With Spirit - Adam Voith
Dear Adam: You are pretty but cryptic. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
64. Hearts In Atlantis - Stephen King
Dear Steve: I like you when you do different things like this. Care for a game of hearts?
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