Four Top Tens
2.23.2003 by , every Thursday.
Another week goes by, and another week where I have yet to see the Daredevil movie ends. This week for sure, I swear it.
In other movie news, over here, you can take a look at three of the upcoming comic movies slated for release this summer. “X-Men 2”, of course, as well as Chow Yun Fat and Sean William Scott in “Bulletproof Monk”, Eric Bana in "The Hulk", and Sean Connery in “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen”. I'm pumped up for it, and they all look pretty good.
And on to the part of the column in which I actually write something. This time around, we're going to tale a look at some top ten lists I've compiled over the past few minutes for your reading enjoyment. Not really much more to say about that, as they're fairly self explanatory.
Top Ten Spider-Man Villains
10) J. Jonah Jamison. This guy causes poor Peter so much grief. He wields enough sway in the media, that the public often doesn't realize what a hero they have.
9) The Juggernaut. The one on one battles between Spidey and Juggernaut may be few and far between, but they are always show stoppers.
8) The Shocker. Yes he wears a yellow and brown quilted suit. Yes it looks funny. But this guy is just mean. He blew away Electro (then his parter) to take his share of the loot.
7) The Kingpin. Fat, yes. Bald, yup. Controls all the crime in the tri-state area, and Spidey, Daredevil and the Punisher can barely touch him, you got it.
6) The Sandman. Even though he's turned over a new leaf in recent years, ol' Sandy was all that back in the day. And Spidey never figured out that their meetings on the beach would always be a dastardly trap!
5) Electro. Aside from the greatest mask ever worn by a super villain, he wields a power so awe inspiring that only rubber boots can stop it.
4) His Editor in the 90's. The Freakin' Clone Saga! What were you on?
3) Doctor Octopus. Otto Octavius had four metal arms grafted to his tubby chest.
2) Venom. The disgruntled co-worker + the alien symbiote you just rejected = a whole mess o trouble.
1) The Green Goblin. Rich, smart, lotsa pumpkin bombs. Not only does he kill you girl, but he leaves his weapons lying around for his son to take you out after he kicks the bucket.
Top Ten Appearances of Batman available on video/DVD
10) Justice League: The Legend Begins. The dialogue between Batman and Superman is modeled after Grand Morrissons writhing in JLA.
9) Batman Returns. Batman versus Christopher Walken! And Catwoman in that tight suit! Oh yeah, I think Danny DeVito's in it too.
8) Batman & Mr. Freeze: Sub Zero. I great story highlighting the rational of super-villain Mr. Freeze. What Schwarzenegger should have been.
7) Batman Beyond: The Return of the Joker. In the future, Bruce Wayne is a cantankerous old man...who still can kick your butt.
6) Batman and Superman: The Movie. Bruce Wayne hits on Lois, Joker and Lex Luthor team up.
5) Batman Forever. Okay, so I liked Jim Carrey in this one. I don't care what you think.
4) Scooby Doo meets Batman. The two greatest detective teams in history meet up to match wits. Freddie makes even Robin look macho.
3) Batman: The Movie. Adam West is the one, true Batman.
2) Batman. Jack Nicholson as the Joker is almost as terrifying as the producers allowing Prince to do all the music for this movie.
1) Mask of the Phantasm. The greatest film with Batman ever made. This one actually has a mystery for Bats to solve. And Mark Hamill as the Joker is so very choice.
Top Ten Coolest Comic Stories
10) Dr. Strange vs. Dracula. Very few people know of this one, but 4 issues from the mid-eighties rocked my world as a kid.
9) Wolverine & Havok: Meltdown. Havok looks just like James Dean, but he can shoot down helicopters with his plasma blasts.
8) The Death of Superman. You heard about this one. Might not have been the greatest writing ever, but everyone bought it, and if everyone does it, that makes it cool, right?
7) Kingdom Come. Painted by Alex Ross. Lotsa stuff dies, but they do it in pretty pictures.
6) Marvels. I nice retelling of the history of life in the Marvel Universe from the perspective of a regular guy.
5) Action Comics #1. He's..He's lifting that car right over his head!
4) Sin City. Frank Miller is a sick, scary man, and the book is very good.
3) The Watchmen. Made it in Time Magazine. Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons tell a fine story about super herores and conspiracies.
2) Batman: Dark Knight Returns. Batman kicks the crap out of everyone, even Superman.
1) X-Men: Dark Phoenix Saga. Mmm, Beast and Angel rejoin, the Helfire Club and the Imperial Guard, and Jean dies at the end.
Top Ten Worst Ideas Comics has Ever Had
10) Superman: Blue. Electric powered Superman? Where have all the editors gone?
9) Rawhide Kid revival. They made him gay, hey that's cool. They market the book as a Jerry Springer type revelation. Terrible. See for yourself : Rawhide Kid #1
8) Bringing Jean Gey back to life: It just cheapened the whole Phoenix Saga for me.
7) Batman & Robin. George Clooney?!?
6) Origin. Wolvering gets his super secret origins published, fans no clamour for mental blocks.
5) Marville. Lets let Bill Jemas insult the fans in his own book!
4) Bringing Superman back to life. Way to invite a backlash against the industry.
3) Spider-Man clones.What a mess. Even I haven't the patience to try and sort that mess out.
2) H.E.R.B.I.E. the Robot. Because kids would light themselves on fire to be the Human Torch. Riiight.
1) Captain America: The Movie. Uggh. So bad, so very bad.
Well, that's all I got for you right now, but keep reading. Be on the look out for another “Threads, Baby!” article in the near fututre, as I plan to rip to shreds the fashion sense of you favorite heroes and villains.