Reasons why coal isn't Top Fuel anymore
February 16, 2002:   By Coal-a, #45
10. 
It pollutes
9. 
Too many naughty children in the '50s made it unaffordable during Christmas season
8. 
Too many depressing Cape Breton songs resulted from mining it
7. 
It's lumpy, dark, cold, and smudges; in short, it just ain't sexy
6. 
It's called the "electric chair", not the "coal-fuelled chair"
5. 
Going down long, dark mineshaft too Freudian
4. 
Edmonton Oilers: five Stanley Cups-- North Sydney Coal Barons: zero
3. 
Kids won't spend 13 hour days shovelling it into ovens anymore--thanks to Nintendo
2. 
Big copyright lawsuit with the coleslaw people over the name
1. 
Type 71077345 into your calculator, look at it upside down, and it spells "Shell Oil".  But nothing spells "coal"
Editor's Note: If you type 5318008 in your calculator it spells boobies.
 
 
 

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Reasons why coal isn't Top Fuel anymore
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