Ramasaur and Mans of Siens are bored.
February 27, 2001

RANT #61: Misc.
Ramasaur and Mans of Siens
 
Summary: Read the title. What is not to understand? Plus we reveal the secrets to tighter buns.
 
Questionable Content This rant contains profanity or other offensive material.
 
Full Text:

 
An evening with Ramasaur and Mans of Siens.
A play in one act.

or

The stuff that bothers us.

Now that Mans of Siens has cleansed himself of the alcohol that was assaulting his system during his last post, he and Ramasaur are sitting in Ram's idyllic rez "palace", engaged in a delightful discussion about stupid motherfuckers who piss us off, and the excruciating minutia (did we spell that right?) of every waking moment of our thrill-ride lives.
mans of siens translation: "beer no in stomach.  speaks of stupid motherfuckers of days is that."

1. Ramasaur hates girls who squeal. She makes the brilliant observation that humans are not pigs. Why do girls squeal when excited? Mans of Siens adds, "girls suck."
Ramasaur would like to add that while the squealy girls are very nice, their sound keeps her up at night. Not fair. Ramasaur needs her rem sleep.

2. Mans of Siens says, people who talk out in class just to make themselves sound smart can [Ramasaur edits: do something not very nice with something else]. Why must these people insist on blurting out the [darned] answer.  Everyone in the class knows what the answer is, you [not nice people]. Next time you talk out I'ma [kindly put my fist through your face].

3. Ramasaur says: Boys are annoying. They walk around making gross noises, they throw mattresses, soap, and glass down the stairs, they pee everywhere, they fight, and they smell. Well, okay, this is kind of a generalization, most boys are really nice and odourless. But what I don't understand is: why do I love 'em so?

4. Mans of Siens makes a mean point about how girls can be, er, difficult at times. He compares them to the female dog, a noble animal who takes good care of its young and, Mans of Siens take heed, also bites.

5. Ramasaur comment: why do girls have to wear shirts? Guys can walk around half naked, and do not have to be concerned about exposing themselves. But girls have to stay fully clothed. Being naked is fun. Come on, people.

6. Mans of Siens retaliates: why do girls have to wear shirts? Guys can walk around half naked, and do not have to be concerned about exposing themselves. But girls have to stay fully clothed. Being naked is fun. Come on, girls.

7. Ramasaur tactfully posits: I don't know what posit means, but it's a cool word. Also: why does milk go bad? In this day and age, when we can send people to the moon, buy computers in designer colours, and take a pill to make men useful once again, can I not just sit down and enjoy a nice cold glass of 2 month old milk?

8. Mans of Siens replies: Why do artsies have to use such large and stupid words such as "posit" when they don't even know what the hell it means? Excuse me, I'm going to throw up.

9. Ramasaur laughs at Mans of Siens. Her laughter has a silvery timbre, and it emanates from her delicate lips like birdsong from a gentle thrush on a summer's eve.

10. Mans of Siens: blech. [expletive]

Conclusion
Mans of Siens suggests a dumb conclusion. Ramasaur brutally shafts him. Mans of Siens rebuts: you're dumb. The evening ends in a fight to the death.
 


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