Don't go bashing Airduct
January 13, 2001

RANT #45: Misc.
Summary: Airduct is a neat little paper that Ash likes to trash. Tsk tsk.
Full Text:

Recently, the venerable and on rare occasions mildly amusing pages of the Tangmonkey website have been tainted with a peculiar strain of bitching. It seems Pulps creator, master Pokemon trainer and goat licker Ash, has decided to vent his sexual frustrations by dissing my sister.
oWell, okay, he didnt exactly dis my SISTER, but, well, sorta, he did.  This despite the fact she has publicly said "I like Pulp," while under the influence of few to no illicit substances.  Apparently her paper, Airduct, is pure crap, mostly because it is run by girls.
oFirst of all, Id like to say that for many years before Ash reached a belated sexual maturity, I was fully capable of both running faster than him and beating up.  Also, his clothes look like theyre from Le Chateau.  I mean, really.  Also, he smells.
oNow that thats over, Id like to say that Airduct is nifty and fun and relatively harmless.  It is made of actual tree fibers and is fully recyclable.  It has interesting drawings, and its stories simultaneously pull at your heart strings while making you raise your eyebrows so high they give you cowlicks.  In short, Airducts humble pages are packed with strange wonders.
oAlso, Airduct makes me laugh more than monkeys ever will.  Unless theyre, you know, doing it.
oAnyways, Im writing this because my as-yet-unnamed girl gang, which has over 7 members and its own cool logo, is looking out for the fledgling paper that could.  Next time Ash disses it, were coming to his house to to some horrible girl things to him.  First off, were going to make him feel REALLY guilty.
oWere girls.  And were up for anything.
oUnless it turns him on.

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