The greed for speed
September 5, 2003

RANT #205: Misc.
Summary: I actually wrote this back in May.  It just seemed like it'd fit okay here.  Behold...
Questionable Content This rant contains profanity or other offensive material.
Full Text:

Since mankind crawled out of whatever saggy womb that spawned it, they have had greed.

First, let's seperate needs, wants, and greeds.

A need is something that a person cannot live without. You do not need those McDonalds french fries, you need food. You do not need that super new shiney miniskirt. Hell, you don't even need clothes, but they'll arrest you if you don't wear them. Trust me on that one. I know. *cough*

A want is something that a person desires. I desire a large sprite. I desire a flamethrower. They are not needs, and are not recognized as needs. We all know I don't NEED a flamethrower to survive. We all know I'd really, really like one though. One with a big tank of napalm. And missiles....

Big fucking missiles....

Anyways, a GREED is a want that is recognized as a need. People believe that they need that double whopper with cheese, but really they only want it. Children are afflicted with chronic greed. "Mommy, I want a gumball". "No dear, you can't have one.", "But I NEED it.". Everyone has had a want or two. That's natural. What makes me want to shit in your lungs is when you make it such a big fucking deal.

Segue into driving.

I'm not quite sure how this happened, but nearly everyone in the United States (save for geriatrics) has turned moving quickly into a greed. It's insatiable. They cannot leave the house 15 minutes early, they have to drive 95 down a residential street crowded with young children. Those children, they don't understand. You NEED to go that fast! Otherwise, you'll be dead meat!

Fuck you.

Drive the goddamn speed limit you ass-ranching buttpimples. If the speed limit doesn't get you to your destination on time, then leave earlier. Fisher Price logic. You have no goddamn right to be so greedy as to endanger not only your own, but my life and the lives of those around you. One day, I'll have the money to equip the tire spike drop kit in the back of my trunk, then you'll be fucked, asshole. Just you wait.

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