Cereal Box Prizes!
August 23, 2003

RANT #202: Consumer
Druss01uk
 
Summary: THEY PISS ME OFF! BIG-TIME!!!
 
Questionable Content This rant contains profanity or other offensive material.
 
Full Text:

 
My little brother poured water on my head while I was sitting at this computer working and I (as anyone would do if they got H2O over their head) told him to FUCK OFF. Then he comes in with a stupid piece of green plastic and proclaims that if I be "NASTY" to him, He will tell me on THE HULK (yes, the big green muscle-bound moron, not the wrestling Neanderthal) and he will beat me up. What the hell is this? Some evil mean cereal administrator puts crap that hardly calls itself "a reward for buying that certain product" just to raise the appreciation of the goddamn cereal. Moreover, it is either some plastic toy from some shitty movie, or a CD with barely good quality Demos and audio track after fucking audio track of some Pre-school god. Besides, the pre-school crap has either a drumstick lolly or a sample of play dough, in other words, far better than the prizes in the cereals.

THESE MORONS ARE WORSE THAN FUCKING BARNEY!
(I mean the moron on PBS)

I know I am not a critic, but I am so pissed off with the lack of effort they put in to amuse children. And now I've got my brother running around being a moron with the other moron he "found" in the cereal box. Yeah, thats another problem! Finding the prize; not to mention unofficial prizes! You buy the stupid product. Open the box and you get a Card with a number. (e.g. 49) and it says on the back:

TRADABLE NUMBERS - COLLECT ALL 150

We all know what perils lurk in trading card games, especially the stupid number scam. You Could collect all one-hundred-and-fifty, but where is the fun in that. And there are those bogus dorks with those bogus cards like smorteen and twirfy. BUT WHAT THE FUCK?

Another Way to dump prizes in is just to get a lump of charcoal and immediately proclaim on the box that it is an actual space rock. And you can put it in the microwave on high and watch it spontaneously combust. This is barely productive! And it pisses me off to see lack of creativity from the people themselves who invented the fucking cereal in the first place.

Somebody knock some sense into these dickheads!!
NOW!!! BEFORE I THROW GRENADES!!
 


Add a comment to this rant: 0 comments



Disclaimer | Email Us | Dance!
Text, images, design, and our groovy mojo are ©
return to the top of the page