VP of T-Shirts
November 27, 2000

RANT #19: Misc.
Summary: Jean-Paul Davidson, VP of T-shirts, will not avoid my scathing criticism today. Nay, for today is the Day of Reckoning!
Full Text:

I told my boss about the tang, and the rants, and apparently he has some sort of recording of some funny rant, so he's going to record it in wav format and send it to us. SO DON'T SEND NASTY MESSAGES BACK TO HIM ASKING PRYING QUESTIONS LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO! I'm on to you, you can't escape me "Mr. , I'm so holier than all of thou(?), VP of T-Shirts. Yeah THERE's an important job if I ever heard one. Almost as bad as selling cancer phones to the unsuspecting morons who come wandering into the bottomless pit of despair you call a, and I use the term loosely, 'store'. Frankly, I find your lack of morals despicable. I cannot fathom how others fail to detect the utter dishonesty that seems to exude from yours pores as an overpowering stench. The fact that good, honest people can even exist in your presence, let alone endure the lies spewed forth from your acursed mouth. It must take a ferocious amount of willpower to fight the overpowering urge to run away and hide in the deepest darkest hole and pray to whatever gods they believe in before they are sent to hell for having laid eyes upon thee. I have come to the conclusion that you, being the foul demon-spawned monster that you are, must be placeing these poor innocents under your own vile control, to perform your insidious plans destroy and desecrate all that man holds holy and dear. Therefore I have decided that you must die, sales boy. Which is why I am hunched behind you right now as you read this. Goodbye.

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