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It's Just Like TANGMONKEY.COM... oh wait...
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I Hate Max Weinberg
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November 27, 2000
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RANT #18: Arts & Entertainment
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The Marquis de Guillermo
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Summary: I loathe and despise Max Weinberg, drummer for Bruce Springsteen and the Conan O'Brien Show.
Full Text:
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I'm a pretty nice, happy guy. Things don't make me insanely mad very often. Somebody's a meanie or a tail-gater or wastes my $9 with a terrible movie (coughWillSmithcough), well - I'm pissed off for a bit, but that's about it. There's one thing - one guy - however, who really just drives me nuts. People say that Adolf Hitler should be the person I hate the most in the entire world, given what he did to folks... or, failing Hitler, I should at least go for a popular victim of hate literature, such as Bill Gates. I'm a macevangelist, I think Gates is a moron, I'm Jewish and have a real bone to pick with Adolf... but it's neither of those guys that most gets my panties in a wad.
Who do I hate the most in the entire world? Two simple words: Max Weinberg.
Yes, you read me right. Freakin' Max Weinberg of the Max Weinberg seven. Conan O'Brien's grinning, moronic, infuriatingly infuriating drummer. GOD I hate that guy. He's always sitting there with his drumsticks, smiling this goofy, dumb smile, and tappin' his snares as if he's the king of the world. His band's fine, they don't pretend to be toothpaste models, but this Max guy? Somebody hit him in the face with an axe, for god's sake! He doesn't make jokes or act as straight-man to Conan, he just sits there and makes me insanely pissed off. What's more, he's on Bruce Springsteen's band. Yes, THAT Bruce Springsteen. The Boss. The Boss' freakin' E Street Band. Max is a member. HELLO? Max is not cool! Max is a loser who I want to kill with an elaborate orchid-and-orange-peel death trap! He should NOT be on your crew, Bruce! He is what is known as an "Ass Clown". MAX WEINBERG - I LOATHE THEE!
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