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Early November 1999
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Ten Things I Hate About Teen Romantic Comedies:
- That unbelievably overused ‘guy goes out with girl because he’s paid/it’s a bet/it’s a dare and ends up falling for her’ plot device. It lost its charm the 138th time I saw it, and it’s been getting more and more irritating ever since.
- The retch-inducing soundtrack. If I hear one more punked-out version of an old song looped endlessly over the entire movie, I’m going to rupture my eardrums with a Q-tip to spare myself the agony.
- The terribly inaccurate view of modern high schools. If everybody at Glebe was like the high school kids in the movies, I’d spend a lot of time locked up in my room killing cats. More than usual, anyway.
- Teen-speak. When did it become cool to talk like a half-wit? I blame Pauly Shore.
- The bad-ass guy/girl who actually turns out to have a heart of gold. There’s a reason these guys dress in black, people, and it ain’t because they’re waiting for someone to confide in. (Insert tasteless trenchcoat joke here)
- Chris Owen, that funny looking red-headed guy who is in every single movie about 90’s high school life. He was the klepto in Can’t Hardly Wait, the guy with the pizza in She’s All That, and the guy who lied about having sex in American Pie, and he won’t go away.
- That unbelievably overused ‘guy goes out with girl because he’s paid/it’s a bet/it’s a dare and ends up falling for her’ plot device. I hate it so much it’s on here twice.
- The Prom. Carrie makes me want to go to grad more than this crap.
- Deliberately wacky characters that pop up every few scenes just to be weird. If I wanted to see quirky I’d stop by the Royal Ottawa and stare at the schizophrenics.
- The fact that despite my undying hatred of this whole sickening sub-genre, I still watched this entire movie. If anyone wants me, I’ll be up in my room.
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