|
|
|
|
|
May 2001
Download the word version, perfect for printing and handing out on street corners!
Rock Rock Rock Rock Rock n Roll Funeral
|
Ash
|
|
Well kids, the unthinkable has happened. That's right, pack up your $100
Laredo electric guitars, put away your leather jackets and torn jeans, and
start using the modeling glue for the purpose it was originally intended,
because the founder of all things rock and roll has passed away. On Sunday,
April 15th , at the age of 49, punk rock pioneer Joey Ramone has died in a
New York hospital of lymphatic cancer. To some, Joey and his band the
Ramones were an inspiration, causing an entire culture to take their lead,
pick up a guitar, a microphone and some solvents and rock out in garage
bands all over the world. To others, he was an iconic symbol of the violent,
anti-establishment, anarchistic political spirit that fueled the punk
revolution of the late seventies. To still others, he was merely the ugliest
man in America, looking essentially like a 7-foot tall version of the
Elephant Man with longer hair. But while some may argue his merits as a
performer, musician, and human being, it must be admitted that he was the
single most important figure in modern American rock music, and few would
disagree that his death is the worst thing that has ever happened in the
history of mankind. Ever since their formation in New York in 1975, the
Ramones have consistently rocked the socks off anyone who dared attend their
blisteringly aggressive, high-speed live shows, while simultaneously boring
the pants off anyone who tried to sit through their unbearably slow albums.
But despite their meager album sales, the Ramones took the rock world by
storm, playing over 2000 live shows before finally calling it quits in 1996
when it became apparent that it's difficult to convincingly belt out the
lyrics to Teenage Lobotomy when you're fifty years old and having difficulty
getting through the chorus without taking a nap. More mainstream audiences
may remember the band from their classic theme song for the Stephen King
film Pet Sematery, which the band composed and recorded for the film's
soundtrack despite, judging by the lyrics, not actually having seen the
movie, but us true fans will always remember the Ramones for penning the
songs that defined teenage rebellion, social activism, and leftist
anti-authoritarian ideals, such as Bonzo Goes To Bitburg, Rockaway Beach and
of course the immortal, deeply moving The KKK Took My Baby Away. Without the
lyrics that finally vocalized the turbulent and conflicting emotions of
every kid's teenage years (the bittersweet and poetic words to Now I Wanna
Sniff Some Glue come immediately to mind) where would all of us who grew up
in the late 70s be? Most likely productive members of society, maybe holding
a job that requires a suit and tie instead of peddling porn cassettes in a
seedy Montreal video store, but where's the fun in that? Well, spending the
thousands of dollars you earn with a real job, I suppose, but that's beside
the point, which is that the Ramones were cool. They managed to make a
career out of playing good ol' fashioned rock and roll, all the while
scaring the crap out of parents the world over due to their disheveled
appearance and generally incomprehensible speech patterns carried on breath
that no doubt reeked of anti-freeze and corn chips. No mere eulogistic
article in an immensely popular entertainment newsletter could do Joey
Ramone and his cronies justice, so I think that all loyal readers of PULP
should take a moment of silence to reflect on the life and times of the man,
followed by a moment of retching to vomit up a half-litre of Listerine
'wine' cooler. I know he would have wanted it that way.
|
|
| 
| | 
| 
|
Warning: require(): http:// wrapper is disabled in the server configuration by allow_url_include=0 in /home/public/pulp/includes/footer.php on line 3
Warning: require(http://www.tangmonkey.com/includes/ads.php): Failed to open stream: no suitable wrapper could be found in /home/public/pulp/includes/footer.php on line 3
Fatal error: Uncaught Error: Failed opening required 'http://www.tangmonkey.com/includes/ads.php' (include_path='.:/usr/local/php/8.0.30-nfsn2/lib/:/usr/local/php/lib/') in /home/public/pulp/includes/footer.php:3
Stack trace:
#0 /home/public/pulp/2-6/rock.php(101): require()
#1 {main}
thrown in /home/public/pulp/includes/footer.php on line 3
| |
